I swear I don't mean to sound depressing
EmotionalI just need to get things out of my system <8D;; Those of you who can't stand emo-rant-journals, you don't have to read this XD
I don't feel seriosly depressed or anything, but I've been feeling down for the last couple of months. MONTHS. The thing is that it was mostly because there have been a lot going on in my family, and I've been overly worried about everyone and everything. It feels like I haven't had any time to think about myself, and I've been stressed even now when it's summer break and I don't have to do anything special.
Luckily I have the best best friends in the world, and my neighbour ~Pahsmina rushed over to my house as soon as I told her I didn't feel well, and I could cry and spill out all my thoughts and worries on her, which I'm eternally grateful for, I swear that she's the best of the best
I was a freaking cry-fountain XD She made me feel a lot better about all the things that I had been worrying about, and I felt so relieved when we talked about it, I was skipping around three days later just being happy :'DBut the last days I've been feeling down again, but not nearly as much as before, though. I dunno, maybe it's because it's summer break and I have too much time to think XD
I know that I sound like an angsty teenager now, but I've been thinking a lot about death and the like. I don't know why really, since no one in my family have been seriously ill or died for at least two years(if we're not counting my stepfather's mom who died last year). And I know that I can't do anything about it, but I just feel so heavy when I think that "EVERYONE I KNOW WILL DIEEEEE!!!11one!" and such.
It also feels like I constantly have to do something. That now when it's SUMMER BREAK I can't sit around doing nothing or playing video games, I'm CONSTANTLY thinking "Omg it's summer break, I MUST have fun!". But when I'm pressuring myself to have fun it's no fun anymore DD: I can't even watch the TV or play games without thinking about it. And I know that free time is meant for relaxing, but I can't bring myself to it D:
The worst part of this is that when I'm with friends and having fun, SUDDENLY I remember all this and then I have it in the back of my head all day.
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Now this isn't TOO serious, it's not like I'm crying about it or anything, but I start to feel really low when I start thinking about it too much. And I don't expect anyone to make me snap out of it or so, but if anyone has any tip of how to not think so much about it or how to be more positive to it, please tell me <8D;;
But I'm still happy that ~Pahsmina made me snap out of that heavier depression-thing, I'm not usually moody like this so I can't handle it very well >__<
I also don't feel like telling my parents, my dad is a psychologist and I swear that he will over-analyze it all, and I already told my mom about my first depression-thingy, I don't want to worry her too much, especially not when this isn't as serious as the first one.
SO MY SISTERS BETTER NOT TELL OUR PARENTS, 'KAY?
(I'm sorry for the ranting, but pease bear with me XD)
Devious Comments
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"1-800- SUICIDE, or maybe Dr.online can help you die. You need wings to fly, you need someone to take your place when you are gone" ~ Dr. Online by Zeromancer
I've been thinking about doing things that makes me push away the depressing thoughs, but it feels like I'm just trying to run away from it D: Even if thinking about something else probably is the best thing to do anyway XD
Thank you for the concers :'D
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"This is... Castle Oblivion... where to find is to lose... and to lose is to find.
But rest assured that you won't lose anything just beacuse you won this free drink."
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"It's still a good door, you know. Sturdy."
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"1-800- SUICIDE, or maybe Dr.online can help you die. You need wings to fly, you need someone to take your place when you are gone" ~ Dr. Online by Zeromancer
But yeah, teenage years is the part that we start discovering that there's more to life than flowers and sunshine at the same time as hormonal fluctuations. So the combination can be very stressful at that time. The thing is to try to not think about it too much. It's a fact of life and thinking harder about it is not going to change anything. Once we accept it things are easier to move on.
Have you considered that it could be your hormones kicking in? I don't want to sound crude but every week before that time of the month I get super depression. I feel like I am scum and nothing I do is right. Which is total bullshit but it comes together with the monthly package D: So yeah. It might just be a phase.
I hope you get through this. BTW I think your art has been steadily improving over the year. And I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. Keep it up
Och om du känner att du MÅSTE göra saker så ring mig och tänk på att du kommer ju både åka till Närcon och karlskrona sen
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The most failed art student ever.
My icon is made by Blissbunny Go stalk her gallery,NAOW!
But I think I know what your talking about, about you having a lot going on around you, I mean. But I had no idea you where feeling like this. All hugs to you
I had this depressed period, like, a half a year ago, and it was really hard, but it passed. And I feel OK now, and I hope you'll do soon too. You can't walk around feeling sad, cousin, how will I be able to be mean to you now, huh? Think of ME for a second, I can't be mean to someone I feel sorry for, and feel like comforting
Oh, and by the way, du behöver inte oroa dig, jag tänker inte dö, jag ska leva i hundra år till!
Lycka till och försök ha lite kul// Din lagom tjocke kusin
PS. Min Charizard skulle i alla fall slå din Tyfloshion! DS.
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Add a bit of lavender to your milk, Leave town with an orange and pretend you're laughing at it.
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A wise man can see more from the top of a mountain, then a fool from the bottom of a well.
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Jam jam jam, jam jam jam... BLERGH!! Bleah... -SCHLAP-
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Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
~thelifeofabinder
About as straight as Marth on New Year's eve.
~Hail-NekoYasha
Sometimes.. (and i have NOOO IDEA y...) when i think of this one person i work with, i feel really... sad. Like i feel worried for her or just depressed when i think of her. I dunno y bc its not like shes a depressing person... *shrugs*
No worries kaaY~?
Things will turn up <3
I think it's just a phase too, I'm sure I'll get over it. I even started too feel better just by writing a journal about it and letting it all out XD Thanks for the concern, I'm happy that I have such kickass friends like you guys X3
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"This is... Castle Oblivion... where to find is to lose... and to lose is to find.
But rest assured that you won't lose anything just beacuse you won this free drink."
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"It's still a good door, you know. Sturdy."
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