I managed to get a hold of a computer at the local library, so I can write this : D

I just need to get things out of my system <8D;; Those of you who can't stand emo-rant-journals, you don't have to read this XD

I don't feel seriosly depressed or anything, but I've been feeling down for the last couple of months. MONTHS. The thing is that it was mostly because there have been a lot going on in my family, and I've been overly worried about everyone and everything. It feels like I haven't had any time to think about myself, and I've been stressed even now when it's summer break and I don't have to do anything special.
Luckily I have the best best friends in the world, and my neighbour ~Pahsmina rushed over to my house as soon as I told her I didn't feel well, and I could cry and spill out all my thoughts and worries on her, which I'm eternally grateful for, I swear that she's the best of the best I was a freaking cry-fountain XD She made me feel a lot better about all the things that I had been worrying about, and I felt so relieved when we talked about it, I was skipping around three days later just being happy :'D

But the last days I've been feeling down again, but not nearly as much as before, though. I dunno, maybe it's because it's summer break and I have too much time to think XD
I know that I sound like an angsty teenager now, but I've been thinking a lot about death and the like. I don't know why really, since no one in my family have been seriously ill or died for at least two years(if we're not counting my stepfather's mom who died last year). And I know that I can't do anything about it, but I just feel so heavy when I think that "EVERYONE I KNOW WILL DIEEEEE!!!11one!" and such.

It also feels like I constantly have to do something. That now when it's SUMMER BREAK I can't sit around doing nothing or playing video games, I'm CONSTANTLY thinking "Omg it's summer break, I MUST have fun!". But when I'm pressuring myself to have fun it's no fun anymore DD: I can't even watch the TV or play games without thinking about it. And I know that free time is meant for relaxing, but I can't bring myself to it D:

The worst part of this is that when I'm with friends and having fun, SUDDENLY I remember all this and then I have it in the back of my head all day.
--

Now this isn't TOO serious, it's not like I'm crying about it or anything, but I start to feel really low when I start thinking about it too much. And I don't expect anyone to make me snap out of it or so, but if anyone has any tip of how to not think so much about it or how to be more positive to it, please tell me <8D;;

But I'm still happy that ~Pahsmina made me snap out of that heavier depression-thing, I'm not usually moody like this so I can't handle it very well >__<
I also don't feel like telling my parents, my dad is a psychologist and I swear that he will over-analyze it all, and I already told my mom about my first depression-thingy, I don't want to worry her too much, especially not when this isn't as serious as the first one.
SO MY SISTERS BETTER NOT TELL OUR PARENTS, 'KAY?
(I'm sorry for the ranting, but pease bear with me XD)